Three exercises for noticing small emotions

Historically, I wasn’t very good at noticing emotions when they are small. In fact, for the longest time I really only noticed emotions when they became too overwhelming to ignore. This was not an effective strategy. It led to really painful interpersonal conflict and meant I spent a lot of time running away from emotional … Continue reading Three exercises for noticing small emotions

Working with emotional activation

In the last post, I talked about taking your emotional temperature, which is something I try to practice most days because it isn’t something that comes naturally to me. Nevertheless, I find it invaluable in helping me to notice and work with my emotions. As I have practised noticing my levels of emotional activation, I … Continue reading Working with emotional activation

Taking your emotional temperature

So, I’ve been spending more and more time feeling into my emotions, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the way I was taught to understand emotions as a younger person was dangerously wrong. You see, I was taught that emotions could be understood on a scale from sad to happy (and that you should … Continue reading Taking your emotional temperature

5 reasons comet relationships are awesome for self-consent (Comets Part 2)

The last post gave an overview of comet relationships, so you might want to go back and read that if you haven’t already. Here I am talking about how comet relationships help with self-consent, so I’ll start with a working definition of comet relationships: “A comet is a person that passes through your life repeatedly … Continue reading 5 reasons comet relationships are awesome for self-consent (Comets Part 2)

The joy of comet relationships – Part 1

Let's start at the beginning. 'Comet' isn't all that new to the poly lexicon, but I've found lots of people that are unfamiliar with the term, so I'm going to start with what it means. The More Than Two glossary defines a comet as: "An occasional lover who passes through one’s life semi-regularly, but without … Continue reading The joy of comet relationships – Part 1

5 reasons I love Dialectic Behaviour Therapy skills training for marginalised clients

Dialectic Behaviour Therapy (DBT for short) is an approach that works with people on developing psychological skills that they can use in their day to day lives. Most people have three elements to their DBT work. These are skills training, 121 psychotherapy and between-session coaching. In this article, I am just focusing on the skills … Continue reading 5 reasons I love Dialectic Behaviour Therapy skills training for marginalised clients

Five ways to work with a social comedown

If you haven’t read the last post, you might want to start there, since it has a much longer definition of what a social comedown is. In brief, social comedowns consist of difficult thoughts, sensations, feelings and urges arising after socialising that often include ruminating over past distress and judging yourself for having a hard … Continue reading Five ways to work with a social comedown