Take stock of where you are now in relation to values

Today's exercise is a brief one. It is about working out which values are relevant to conflict, and establish how effectively you currently live by your values in conflict situations. Many people, myself included, find it hardest to live by their values in situations of intense stress, distress or anxiety. It is much easier to … Continue reading Take stock of where you are now in relation to values

Do your values open you up or close you down?

One of my favourite things on Meg-John Barkers blog is their work on opening up and closing down. They talk about lots of different topics in relation to this, most recently new relationship energy, and I think it is a great concept for thinking about what is going on in lots of different parts of … Continue reading Do your values open you up or close you down?

Working with your values in conflict

Many forms of psychotherapy suggest that people work with their own values to build a fulfilling life. Both Acceptance and Commitment therapy and Existential psychotherapy are particularly built around the idea that your own core values form an important foundation to creating a life worth living. Despite having a lot of time for these approaches, … Continue reading Working with your values in conflict

Mindful tooth brushing

I’m not a huge fan of brushing my teeth. I’ve found it boring and uncomfortable - probably because it has such intense sensations to it that I can’t avoid being in my body to feel them. In my move from avoiding sensations to embracing them, I decided that daily uncomfortable physical experiences could help me … Continue reading Mindful tooth brushing

Practicing awareness of sensations

For a long time, I found it really difficult to identify feelings in my body. If I looked for emotions I would find a tight ball at the top of my diaphragm, but giving it a label was impossible. I could be happy, scared, angry, excited, anxious or embarrassed and the same ball sat in … Continue reading Practicing awareness of sensations

Sexual permission slip

Both Ecstasy is Necessary by Barbara Carrellas and Healing Sex by Staci Haines talk about the concept of a sexual permission slip. Given our culture around sex and consent, you might think that this would be a document written to outline what acts you give others permission to engage in with you, but you’d be … Continue reading Sexual permission slip