5 ways to slow down the start of a relationship

If you’re anything like me, the first flush of new connection with someone is so exciting that you want to dive right in. Having said that, if you read the last article, you’ll know that I prefer to take things slowly. As a result, in some new relationships I’ve needed to find ways to slow … Continue reading 5 ways to slow down the start of a relationship

5 wonderful things about slow relationship beginnings

I haven't always been a fan of slow relationships - the joys of falling deeply in lust with people upon meeting them have not entirely escaped me. I love the tummy churning excitement of first dates, the 'did she like me too' questions and even the other person’s intrusion into my thoughts on a more … Continue reading 5 wonderful things about slow relationship beginnings

5 reasons that lube should be part of your sex life

I discovered lube early in my romantic life, much to my delight. I found it wonderful in all kinds of sex, solo and partnered. I'd managed to avoid the messages that it was somehow a bad thing to need/want lube when having sex with other people, that is until I reached the queer community. Suddenly … Continue reading 5 reasons that lube should be part of your sex life

Working with intrusive thoughts

It is all too easy to get caught up in an endless loop of thinking about things, particularly if you are feeling anxious, depressed or lonely.  These might be thoughts about a social situation or event, career plans, a mistake that just keeps playing on your mind or even persistent self-criticism.  Thoughts and emotions can … Continue reading Working with intrusive thoughts

The skill of partner selection part 2 – the wooly bit

The last post talked about relationship makers and dealbreakers – things that are pretty cut and dry.  This post is about the desires, preferences and minor annoyances that you can have much more flexibility about.  There is the squee factor - those things that make you wobbly in the knees and the grit factor - … Continue reading The skill of partner selection part 2 – the wooly bit

The skill of partner selection part 1 – the clear cut bit

I spent time last weekend with someone that was going on some first dates.  Jamie had a few disastrous relationships of late, and was trying not to repeat the mistakes that he had made.  We had a conversation about how you can do that, and I thought I'd share a few thoughts here. Given the huge … Continue reading The skill of partner selection part 1 – the clear cut bit