DBT for non monogamy

Ethical non monogamy can be absolutely wonderful. It can open our lives to more love and connection and happiness. Unfortunately, it also comes with a set of challenges that can intensify distressing emotions and make interpersonal relationships challenging in new and different ways. Often, we were raised in families with little space for difficult emotions, direct communication and productive conflict. This means that few of us are equipped with the skills to manage our own emotions, or hold space for the way our loved ones feel – even though we really want to! 

This course is all about learning psychological skills to help you to cope with some of the more challenging aspects of polyamory. It will take a whistle stop tour through some of DBT’s most influential & useful skills. We will start with the DBT approach to mindfulness, move on to Distress Tolerance, then a couple of emotion regulation skills before finishing up working on interpersonal effectiveness. You can think of the course as a way of expanding your emotional first aid kit, and giving you some new skills to help you when facing distress and interpersonal difficulties.


The next course starts 26th January 2021 5-7 pm GMT.


£400 (GBP) / $500 (USD).  25% off for people signing up by 1st December 2020. £300 (GBP) / $375 (USD).

If you would like to attend this course but are not able to pay the full fee please contact me and we will try to work something out. Sign up here.

What will I have to do?

You will attend a 2-hour session each week and complete homework between sessions – this usually takes between 20 minutes and an hour. You will be invited to join a slack channel where additional resources will be posted and you will be invited to ask any questions that you have.

What do you do in a group meeting?

We start with a mindfulness exercise, then in each session after the first we would go through the homework and discuss each of our experiences with it. Then we would have a 5-10 minute break. After the break, we would learn a new skill in one of the areas I describe above.

Is this group therapy?

No, its learning new skills. I’m here to facilitate learning, on the understanding that we are peers that are seeking to learn these skills together. Each participant is an expert in their life, and will have a different relationship to the skills. This group is about learning more options for dealing with emotions and the challenges that we face in life.

Do I need to have a diagnosis to come to this group?

Absolutely not. DBT assumes that some people have a harder time coping with emotions than others, and managing impulses or behaviours. It suggests some of this is biological, but some comes from an invalidating social environment. Sadly, many of us live within one of those! Especially if we are queer, sex workers, people of colour, disabled etc.

Who will be there?

The group will have no more than 20 participants. If more than 20 people are interested in attending then a second group will be set up.

Who is this for?

This course is for people who are interested in developing resilience, living authentically and improving their relationships (and ending toxic ones).

Who is this course not for?

People that want quick fixes, people that don’t want to do homework or practice skills and people that will judge the life choices of others in the group.