I am comfortable with working with clients in many different relationship constellations. At the moment, I have clients that are monogamous, polyamorous; enmeshed and solo; single and partnered.
When I started my psychotherapy practice, I expected most of my clients to come from the poly community. As it turns out, that’s not what happened. The reason that I expected to have lots of poly clients is that I have been openly non-monogamous for around a decade, and I found it hard to find an appropriate therapist when I wanted one at the start of that journey. Of course, the world has changed, and polyamory is much more common these days, so are poly friendly therapists.
I have had happy and healthy relationships that were monogamous and non-monogamous. In the last decade I have tried on a variety of different relationship structures to see which ones fit me, and right now non-hierarchical non-monogamy works for me, and I identify as relationshipqueer. That isn’t because I think that any of that is best for everyone, I just think it is best for me.
I think what’s most important in working out relationship structure is what works for you (with the you being the people within the relationship structure). In some cases, this might mean monogamy, or it may mean hierarchical polyamory, non-hierarchical polyamory, solo polyamory, open relationships, swinging, or something I’ve not even thought of. Whatever your relationship structure, it is bound to have things that are awesome and things that are sometimes difficult. That is the nature of relationships.
If your work with me touches on your relationship structure I will be curious about what the structure that you have chosen is, and how it is working in your relationship. If we are working together to explore your feelings about different relationship structures I will help you to approach these with curiosity about how the options fit with your beliefs, values and vulnerabilities. I do not believe that there is any one size fits all in relationship terms.