Self consent: Self care when you have to do something hard.

For most of us, a part of life is having to do difficult things that in an ideal world we would rather aviod. The last post acknowledged that sometimes it can be impossible to avoid things we don't want to do. This one offers an exercise for working out how to look after yourself when … Continue reading Self consent: Self care when you have to do something hard.

Connecting through lists

I’ll admit it, I’ve been on something of a trash TV binge. Both of the show’s that I’ve been watching (My crazy ex girlfriend and Jane the Virgin) make jokes about people with list obsessions. Now, I’m a recent convert to the list as a way of getting stuff done, and they have upped my … Continue reading Connecting through lists

Being kind to yourself: selfishness by another name?

Maybe sometimes it is, but is that so bad? The word ‘selfish’ is nearly always used pejoratively to mean someone that is self obsessed, concerned with their own profit or pleasure and unconcerned about others. I’m not advocating naval gazing obsession with ourselves at all times, but I think spending energy focused on what brings … Continue reading Being kind to yourself: selfishness by another name?

5 ways to slow down the start of a relationship

If you’re anything like me, the first flush of new connection with someone is so exciting that you want to dive right in. Having said that, if you read the last article, you’ll know that I prefer to take things slowly. As a result, in some new relationships I’ve needed to find ways to slow … Continue reading 5 ways to slow down the start of a relationship

5 wonderful things about slow relationship beginnings

I haven't always been a fan of slow relationships - the joys of falling deeply in lust with people upon meeting them have not entirely escaped me. I love the tummy churning excitement of first dates, the 'did she like me too' questions and even the other person’s intrusion into my thoughts on a more … Continue reading 5 wonderful things about slow relationship beginnings

5 reasons that lube should be part of your sex life

I discovered lube early in my romantic life, much to my delight. I found it wonderful in all kinds of sex, solo and partnered. I'd managed to avoid the messages that it was somehow a bad thing to need/want lube when having sex with other people, that is until I reached the queer community. Suddenly … Continue reading 5 reasons that lube should be part of your sex life

Five things to do when you’ve just been dumped

So, you didn't make a breakup plan, but your person broke up with you. What next? Here are 5 things to think about when your relationship has just ended: 1) Consider taking some time out of contact Lots of people want to stay friends with their ex, but in the immediate aftermath of the breakup … Continue reading Five things to do when you’ve just been dumped

Five writing prompts for user manuals

Writing a user manual can mean thinking about yourself and your relationships in lots of different ways. Here are a few things you might want to include in your relationship manual:

Five things to think about when you make a breakup plan with someone you’re dating

Breakup plans are all about leaving relationships in a way that is kind, considerate and leaves everyone's dignity intact. Working out how to design your own plan that works for the individuals that you are is central to knowing how to initiate, receive and work your way through a breakup

Five reasons to pre-plan your breakup

In the first flush of new love, the prospect of planning your breakup may seem like a terrible idea. However counter-intuitive it may sound, it is an excellent time to figure out what you both need and want if your relationship needs to end or change shape dramatically.