5 reasons to get a breakup buddy (or two)

Even amicable breakups are difficult for most people. When a relationship ends there is an emotional and practical disentanglement from someone that has been important to you, perhaps even your most important person. Lots of people experience distress, loneliness, relief, longing, sadness, guilt and even shame. There is a person-sized hole in your life. There … Continue reading 5 reasons to get a breakup buddy (or two)

Five things to pay attention to in the transition to existing relationship energy.

Naturally enough, there are lots of things to pay attention to at different times in your relationship. This is just a prompt to think through some common things that come up at this stage: 1) Did your chemistry mask poor compatibility?     One of the reasons that the move from NRE to ERE can … Continue reading Five things to pay attention to in the transition to existing relationship energy.

Negotiating kink – share yes/no/maybe lists

Lots of people have a level of discomfort expressing sexual needs, desires and boundaries. There are lots of ways around this, but you will already know how much I love a good list. So, here is me promoting them as an idea again. Yes/no/maybe lists are an awesome written way to avoid some of the … Continue reading Negotiating kink – share yes/no/maybe lists

Self consent: Self care when you have to do something hard.

For most of us, a part of life is having to do difficult things that in an ideal world we would rather aviod.  The last post  acknowledged that sometimes it can be impossible to avoid things we don't want to do. This one offers an exercise for working out how to look after yourself when … Continue reading Self consent: Self care when you have to do something hard.

Self consent day 1: yes and no lists

Yesterday I gave a short introduction to self consent.  Today I'm starting a week-long series of exercises on how to recognise your own sense of yes and no in your body. Everyone has a different experience of emotions in their body.  There is no one place that anger, happiness, love, gratitude or stress sit within … Continue reading Self consent day 1: yes and no lists

Connecting through lists

I’ll admit it, I’ve been on something of a trash TV binge.  Both of the show’s that I’ve been watching (My crazy ex girlfriend and Jane the Virgin) make jokes about people with list obsessions. Now, I’m a recent convert to the list as a way of getting stuff done, and they have upped my … Continue reading Connecting through lists