5 reasons comet relationships are awesome for self-consent (Comets Part 2)

The last post gave an overview of comet relationships, so you might want to go back and read that if you haven’t already. Here I am talking about how comet relationships help with self-consent, so I’ll start with a working definition of comet relationships: “A comet is a person that passes through your life repeatedly … Continue reading 5 reasons comet relationships are awesome for self-consent (Comets Part 2)

5 ways to be a good breakup buddy

Breakups are hard, and if you have a close friend that is experiencing one, chances are you want to help them through. This is a guide to supporting your friend without tanking your own mental health. Let's face it, those of us that get called on to help when difficult things happen in people's lives … Continue reading 5 ways to be a good breakup buddy

5 reasons to get a breakup buddy (or two)

Even amicable breakups are difficult for most people. When a relationship ends there is an emotional and practical disentanglement from someone that has been important to you, perhaps even your most important person. Lots of people experience distress, loneliness, relief, longing, sadness, guilt and even shame. There is a person-sized hole in your life. There … Continue reading 5 reasons to get a breakup buddy (or two)

Five things to pay attention to in the transition to existing relationship energy.

Naturally enough, there are lots of things to pay attention to at different times in your relationship. This is just a prompt to think through some common things that come up at this stage: 1) Did your chemistry mask poor compatibility?     One of the reasons that the move from NRE to ERE can … Continue reading Five things to pay attention to in the transition to existing relationship energy.

Negotiating kink – share yes/no/maybe lists

  Lots of people have a level of discomfort expressing sexual needs, desires and boundaries. There are lots of ways around this, but you will already know how much I love a good list. So, here is me promoting them as an idea again. Yes/no/maybe lists are an awesome written way to avoid some of … Continue reading Negotiating kink – share yes/no/maybe lists

Self consent: Self care when you have to do something hard.

For most of us, a part of life is having to do difficult things that in an ideal world we would rather aviod.  The last post  acknowledged that sometimes it can be impossible to avoid things we don't want to do. This one offers an exercise for working out how to look after yourself when … Continue reading Self consent: Self care when you have to do something hard.