New relationships energy, also talked about as NRE, is the emotional experience at the beginning of a sexual and/or romantic relationship. While the term is most popular in poly communities, it is also a feature of the start of most monogamous relationships. It includes heightened emotional and sexual excitement, and sometimes obsessive thoughts and urges … Continue reading What is new relationship energy?
The way that I most easily express my love for others is with words. If I’m thinking about the traditional love languages, more than anything else it is what I’m good at. But I still have that very English sense of reserve around complimenting people. A couple of weeks before my beloved Gran died I … Continue reading Three quick things to do to improve your relationships
A good friend of mine has been exploring her tantric side. She met someone on a tantra course and really enjoyed spending time with him. She loved the long walks, reading books to him and increasingly intimate connection and cuddles. She loved holding hands, shared meals and conversations that included deep vulnerability. From the outset, … Continue reading Just because your desires and expectations are more commonplace, doesn’t mean they are more valid than mine.
If you’re anything like me, the first flush of new connection with someone is so exciting that you want to dive right in. Having said that, if you read the last article, you’ll know that I prefer to take things slowly. As a result, in some new relationships I’ve needed to find ways to slow … Continue reading 5 ways to slow down the start of a relationship
I haven't always been a fan of slow relationships - the joys of falling deeply in lust with people upon meeting them have not entirely escaped me. I love the tummy churning excitement of first dates, the 'did she like me too' questions and even the other person’s intrusion into my thoughts on a more … Continue reading 5 wonderful things about slow relationship beginnings
The last post talked about relationship makers and dealbreakers – things that are pretty cut and dry. This post is about the desires, preferences and minor annoyances that you can have much more flexibility about. There is the squee factor - those things that make you wobbly in the knees and the grit factor - … Continue reading The skill of partner selection part 2 – the wooly bit
I spent time last weekend with someone that was going on some first dates. Jamie had a few disastrous relationships of late, and was trying not to repeat the mistakes that he had made. We had a conversation about how you can do that, and I thought I'd share a few thoughts here. Given the huge … Continue reading The skill of partner selection part 1 – the clear cut bit
Mapping relationship constellations can be fun, crafty, technical or artistic. It is a way of representing your relationships in pictorial form. You can do it in whatever way is meaningful to you. My relationship maps include people that I consider family of choice, romantic or sexual partners, intimate friends and people I feel especially close … Continue reading Mapping your relationship constellation
Breakup plans are all about leaving relationships in a way that is kind, considerate and leaves everyone's dignity intact. Working out how to design your own plan that works for the individuals that you are is central to knowing how to initiate, receive and work your way through a breakup
In the first flush of new love, the prospect of planning your breakup may seem like a terrible idea. However counter-intuitive it may sound, it is an excellent time to figure out what you both need and want if your relationship needs to end or change shape dramatically.