We take breaks when we are very upset to down-regulate our emotions. The whole purpose of the break is to reduce the intensity of your emotional activation because that makes it much more likely that you can have a constructive conflict with the other person. Unfortunately, lots of us weren’t taught how to do this … Continue reading De-escalating your distress during a break
In the last post, I talked about taking your emotional temperature, which is something I try to practice most days because it isn’t something that comes naturally to me. Nevertheless, I find it invaluable in helping me to notice and work with my emotions. As I have practised noticing my levels of emotional activation, I … Continue reading Working with emotional activation
One of my favourite things on Meg-John Barkers blog is their work on opening up and closing down. They talk about lots of different topics in relation to this, most recently new relationship energy, and I think it is a great concept for thinking about what is going on in lots of different parts of … Continue reading Do your values open you up or close you down?