You might have seen several of my past posts about breakup planning, but I've not gone back to talk in more details about transition planning. The reality is that many of our relationships undergo transitions from time to time. These are rarely traumatic when they are moving towards deeper intimacy, in fact, they frequently involve … Continue reading Transition planning
I guess I’m a little late to the party in writing this, since the outbreak has been ongoing for some months now, but I thought I’d add my two cents as a sex and relationship educator. 1. Poly folks already know that illnesses spread within networks, constellations and polycules. So, I feel like I’m already … Continue reading 5 thoughts about polyamory and the COVID-19 pandemic
The last post gave an overview of comet relationships, so you might want to go back and read that if you haven’t already. Here I am talking about how comet relationships help with self-consent, so I’ll start with a working definition of comet relationships: “A comet is a person that passes through your life repeatedly … Continue reading 5 reasons comet relationships are awesome for self-consent (Comets Part 2)
Let's start at the beginning. 'Comet' isn't all that new to the poly lexicon, but I've found lots of people that are unfamiliar with the term, so I'm going to start with what it means. The More Than Two glossary defines a comet as: "An occasional lover who passes through one’s life semi-regularly, but without … Continue reading The joy of comet relationships – Part 1
Do you have comedowns after socialsing? If so, you're not alone. This piece explores what social comedowns feel like and how we can destigmatise them.
Breakups are hard, and if you have a close friend that is experiencing one, chances are you want to help them through. This is a guide to supporting your friend without tanking your own mental health. Let's face it, those of us that get called on to help when difficult things happen in people's lives … Continue reading 5 ways to be a good breakup buddy
When I was thinking about writing this piece I recalled a session that I went to on Boundaries at South West Love Fest in Tuscon last year. At that session, Diana Ryan talked about boundaries in terms of what a home would look like depending on how your boundaries were maintained. This was such a … Continue reading Boundaries: From the broken house to the fortress of solitude
Boundaries are a really important part of all relationships, be they friendships, kinship, romantic or sexual. They help you to ensure that you are treating yourself and others with respect and dignity. Fundamentally, boundaries are about honestly and directly expressing the treatment you will and will not accept from others. This means being clear about … Continue reading What are boundaries anyway?
Naturally enough, there are lots of things to pay attention to at different times in your relationship. This is just a prompt to think through some common things that come up at this stage: 1) Did your chemistry mask poor compatibility? One of the reasons that the move from NRE to ERE can … Continue reading Five things to pay attention to in the transition to existing relationship energy.
In this post and the next one I’m focusing on the shift from new relationship energy to existing relationship energy in relationships that are geographically close and where participants are a regular feature in each other’s lives. I am deliberately not talking about long-distance or comet relationships, which often have a different trajectory. I have … Continue reading From New Relationship Energy to Existing Relationship Energy