Negotiating sex – start with the wheel of consent

The wheel of consent is a revolutionary tool, and there is no way I could possibly explain it better than Betty Martin does here. Effectively the wheel of consent, as you see above, pulls apart any instance of touch into two axes. The first is about who is doing the touch, the second is about … Continue reading Negotiating sex – start with the wheel of consent

Self consent: Self care when you have to do something hard.

For most of us, a part of life is having to do difficult things that in an ideal world we would rather aviod.  The last post  acknowledged that sometimes it can be impossible to avoid things we don't want to do. This one offers an exercise for working out how to look after yourself when … Continue reading Self consent: Self care when you have to do something hard.

Self consent: when we have to do things we don’t want to

Treating ourselves consensually isn’t always about avoiding the things our bodies say a loud ‘no’ to. Afterall, sometimes we just have to do things we don’t want to, and sometimes the alternative is more unappealing.  We can find things difficult and unpleasant and still give our informed consent to them. Nevertheless, working out that you’re … Continue reading Self consent: when we have to do things we don’t want to

Self consent day 7: Making time

If you have spent time working through this week’s posts, then you will have the experience of writing, imagining and doing things while tuning into your body’s response. Today’s task is about working out how to fit that awareness into your wider life. This means making sure that a self consent practice works for you. … Continue reading Self consent day 7: Making time

Self Consent day 6 – experiencing yes

Today I invite you to read through the instructions before starting. That way you will know what you’re going to be doing before you get started. Looking at your list, find something that you could do today – whether it is a sporting activity, listening to a song, watching a film or cuddling a pet … Continue reading Self Consent day 6 – experiencing yes

Self consent day 5: Imagining no

When you vividly imagine something that you want to say ‘no’ to it can be hard to move your attention after to something more pleasant.  Before you start this time, figure out what you’d like to do after this exercise. You might find it helpful to go through yesterdays exercise about imagining yes before you … Continue reading Self consent day 5: Imagining no