I discovered lube early in my romantic life, much to my delight. I found it wonderful in all kinds of sex, solo and partnered. I’d managed to avoid the messages that it was somehow a bad thing to need/want lube when having sex with other people, that is until I reached the queer community. Suddenly I started to have sex with women, and many of them seemed to take pride in not needing it. I was genuinely astonished. In the decade that I’d been exclusively been having sex with cis men, I’d never met a single one that so much as queried whether lube should be used. It was almost expected. So I was rather surprised to find myself having sex with women and trans folks who were so actively opposed to the use of lube. Given my experience, I thought I might write a post to point out the many excellent things about lube and, in the future, a post about some brands that you might enjoy.
1) It makes everything deliciously slippy
Clearly, this one is subjective, but I’m a big fan of the tactile feeling of lube. It reduces friction and increases slipperiness.
2) It can reduce transmission of sexually transmitted infections (STI’s)
If you are having vaginal or anal penetrative sex, using plenty of lube can reduce the number of micro tears that occur in the vagina and anus. These tears contribute to transmission of some STI’s, so when you reduce your likelihood of getting them, you also reduce your chances of getting some sexually transmitted infections.
3) If you get lube of the right PH, it can help with vaginal health
It can help to ensure that vaginas are at the right PH to ensure that the healthy lactobacillus that lives in vaginas is plentiful. That doesn’t mean PH neutral. Actually, vaginas have a PH that is around the same as orange juice – 3.5 to 4.5.
4) For anal, its essential
While some vaginas self-lubricate, many don’t sufficiently for sex to be pleasurable without lube. For some, that means that vaginal sex can be great without lube – though I’m personally always a fan of adding more. Anuses do not self-lubricate, this means that if you’re going to have anal sex you really do need to use lube. In fact, you might want to choose a kind of lube that is longer lasting that most water based products.
5) Using lube makes is possible to enjoy being penetrated with larger items/body parts
Not to be a size queen, but lots of people would like to be able to take larger dildo’s, dicks or other items in their vagina or anus. Making everything extra slippy can reduce friction and make it much easier to take larger items. Of course, it is always important to warm up, to make sure you’re not doing anything that is going to hurt you (unless that is the aim of all involved), so even with all the lube in the world, be careful!
Lube can be truly wonderful, but it is important to find the right option for you and the kind of sex you want to be having. In another post, I will talk about the different kinds of lube and their features.