Negotiating sex – reading erotica

Reading erotica together, especially when one person is reading it out loud to the other, is one of my favourite ways to start negotiations about sex and kink.  My introduction to really well negotiated sex came when my partner read a story to me and I noticed her breathing change when reading part of the … Continue reading Negotiating sex – reading erotica

Negotiating sex – start with porn

It is impossible to negotiate sex, kink or sensuality without a degree of emotional risk and sharing porn with a partner is no exception.  Telling someone else that you are into particular sexual or kinky activities can be scary and difficult, so however you decide to do it, give yourself some self-care around it. More … Continue reading Negotiating sex – start with porn

Just because your desires and expectations are more commonplace, doesn’t mean they are more valid than mine.

A good friend of mine has been exploring her tantric side.  She met someone on a tantra course and really enjoyed spending time with him. She loved the long walks, reading books to him and increasingly intimate connection and cuddles. She loved holding hands, shared meals and conversations that included deep vulnerability. From the outset, … Continue reading Just because your desires and expectations are more commonplace, doesn’t mean they are more valid than mine.

5 reasons that lube should be part of your sex life

I discovered lube early in my romantic life, much to my delight. I found it wonderful in all kinds of sex, solo and partnered. I'd managed to avoid the messages that it was somehow a bad thing to need/want lube when having sex with other people, that is until I reached the queer community. Suddenly … Continue reading 5 reasons that lube should be part of your sex life