For some people starting with how you want to feel will seem really fluffy and not particularly helpful, but many people find starting with how you would like to feel really illuminating. For me, starting with feelings is a great tool to use in established relationships where you have previously enjoyed kinky play. �It can […]
Negotating sex – start with feelings Read More »
This one is going to be quick and easy to explain. Sit down with your partner and a set of sticky notes or small bits of paper. Write all the sexual or kinky acts that you can think of on separate sheets (or just in a long list if you prefer). You can come up
Negotiating sex – make a sexy venn diagram Read More »
The wheel of consent is a revolutionary tool, and there is no way I could possibly explain it better than Betty Martin does here. Effectively the wheel of consent, as you see above, pulls apart any instance of touch into two axes. The first is about who is doing the touch, the second is about
Negotiating sex – start with the wheel of consent Read More »
Many people have a level of discomfort expressing sexual needs, desires and boundaries. There are lots of ways around this, but you will already know how much I love a good list. So, here is me promoting them as an idea again. Yes/no/maybe lists are an awesome way to avoid some of the awkwardness of
Negotiating kink – share yes/no/maybe lists Read More »
Reading erotica together, especially when one person is reading it out loud to the other, is one of my favourite ways to start negotiations about sex and kink. �My introduction to really well negotiated sex came when my partner read a story to me and I noticed her breathing change when reading part of the
Negotiating sex – reading erotica Read More »
